Ready Set Spill Your Guts

i wish i could just pour everything running thrugh my brain out..
without having to explain a thing..
this is my blog so technically i could..
however im not sure of the reaction ill get..
but i wont know unless i go for it..
so here i go...

i cant believe i graduate in less than a month
my little brother is startin high school next year(WhAt?!)
Desirae is already a month..where the time go
i dont wanna grow up..but i already have..
i dont want my friends to all go off to college and me stay here..
my heart hurts..i will be the only on of my close friends left in joco.."/
i cant believe shes a month and only seen her father once..
court is not a fun experience..but it makes you stronger.
i like the conclusion the lawyers came to. now she will know her dad..
even if we cant associate for a year.
i hate the baby weight i have left (i know im not fat..but its gross and flabby..YUCK!!)
once again...im getting ready to graduate..this day you anticipate from kindergarden is fastly approaching...its a scary thought..
im thankful some of my closest friend are still here and living.
my senior project is DONE!!
i have 5 more real days of highschool...of school period.
i hate spending ridiculous amounts of money on things..especially when you cant make it through the day without this item..
its very weird to be at home but have my daughter not be here..
i hope things are going well for their first visit together..
im very antsy..dont think i spelled that right.
i miss the way things used to be..but i know its working this way becasue God wants it to..but its hard to swallow.

I feel a lot better..some of the things i dumped out may make absolutely no sense if you want you can aske questions and i will elaborate. If you have a million things going on..this is very helpful... even if noone reads it its off my chest.

Love to all of you..

::samanthalee::

Emotions..

ive wanted to update for some time now but really havent know exactly what to say. right now i have a lot of emotions going through me and its my nature to hold them in and await the moment i absolutley fall to pieces. i havent hit that point yet but some of the emotions have faded so i may not come to the water works this time. i really am amazed at how the past month of my life as seemingly just fallen into place. i feel so comfortable as a mom. but ive learned its not all sunshine and roses. there are hard times, times i feel as though i cant make it, that im incapable. and in my hear t i know that all that is untrue but satan grabs hold and i lose sight momentarily. i dont want to give details but today i truly for the first time in my life saw gods had move over a situation, and had small parts of my prayers answered and that truly wiped away some of my sad feelings. i dont want anyone to think that im super depressed..im not i just get emotional here and there but today is different, today is a happy day and my prayer is that things stay moving in the direction they are. i also want to let the people who pray for me know i couldnt appreciate it more.

precious kisses and mothers day dedication

Sami